Please Check your Religion at the Door

 I guess I am officially "out of the closet." No, I am not gay, I am something that is infinitely worse in today's society. I am an Atheist.

 I am probably more of an Agnostic Atheist, but that's splitting hairs. The bottom line is I don't believe in the God of Christianity. I don't discount the possibility of a spiritual afterlife completely because that can be neither proven or dis proven (there's the Agnostic point of view). One thing is absolute for me. God, as he is described in the Bible, does not exist.
  I won't teach my children that God exists or that he loves them or that he created anything on this planet. This is a little hard to swallow for a lot of people and I understand that. We live in the South, where there is a church (sometimes two) on every block and they are always full on Sunday morning. My disbelief seems radical and out of place here.

 But, I have a right to disbelieve just like Christians have a right to believe. I deserve the same respect.

    I will teach my children to be tolerant of all people and religions, I will teach them to be respectful and not condescending or argumentative. I have told Cole and Chloe that religion is very precious to some people and it is hurtful to criticize or tell people that they are silly or wrong. I find it very hard, however, to get them to understand this when Christians are constantly telling them (and me) that we are wrong. My mother saw fit to tell my son all about God. She also saw fit to tell him I was wrong. Her excuse is it is her belief that she dictates she must "spread the word."

 You spread the word to me and you open up the door for me to pick "the word" apart. I will never, ever, go out looking for an argument about religion but if you bring one to my doorstep I will say what I think and it may be offensive to you.

   This is the same for my children. If they are confronted by a child who says that they are wrong for not believing in God, then that child is going to hear the reasons why they don't believe. It's only fair. I get most irritated when people tell my mentally-ill and Autistic son that there is some horrible creature called "the devil" that will get him if he doesn't believe in God.
  What if I walked up to your 9 year old and told them that a horrible beast was going to come out of their closest and snatch them up and torture them for eternity if they didn't believe the way I do? You would be incredibly angry, you would feel I had overstepped my bounds and walked all over your right to teach your own child your beliefs, and I scared the poor kid to death in the process.

 Why is it ok to do that to me and my kids?

   I have friends that I love and respect who are Christians. I am trying very hard to contain my anger because I would never want to say anything that would be offensive to them. I have had a number of experiences this week that have made it hard for me to remain ambiguous about my beliefs. My close friends know me, they know what I think and they are respectful of that. My own family seems to want to step on my toes.

  For Cole, religion is harmful. Period. It's a bad thing for him. It teaches thoughts are the same as actions and you are as responsible for bad thoughts as you are bad actions. Cole has OCD and this condition is largely defined by intrusive and unwanted bad thoughts that he can't control. We now know there is an organ in our body that controls thought processes and it can be damaged or genetic factors can contribute to a malfunction. It's no one's fault. 
  
   Psychologists call it thought-action fusion. It's the FALSE belief that thoughts are the same as actions.  Realizing this is a key step in recovering from OCD. We also frown upon magical thinking. It's not really conducive to conquering OCD. We focus on logic, rationality, and accepting the limits of our own knowledge and control. Religion is the exact opposite of most of these concepts. It throws him backwards.

 I walked into his room the other day to find him feverishly sorting things and extremely anxious. We finally got down to the root of his anxiety. A conversation with my mom about God.

"Mom. why did God give me OCD if he loves me?" he asked me. I gave him the best answer I knew how. I told him no God that really exists would watch such a sweet child suffer so needlessly without intervening if he had the power. I believe that.

 I am telling friends and family. Religion isn't helpful for us, it isn't constructive and in some cases it interferes with the beneficial therapeutic process. Please, check your religion at the door and I'll leave my Atheist views right there beside it and we can focus on the things we do have in common.